Come ride with me

We all are just travelers in this world.

Travelers with specific destinations and unexpected detours coupled with our fair or even unfair share of baggage in tow. The road ahead may either be rough or smooth but no matter what the condition is, if we just push through even for a little bit, we could make it.

I’ve had my fair share of obstacles and difficulties to face but that did not stop me from trying to reach my destination. These emotional baggages did not, in any way, hinder my trek towards my goal.

Why should it?

It won’t get me far.

I’ve also had my unfair share of personalities who, some way or another, doubted my ability and questioned my sense of worthiness to finish what I’ve started but that did not dishearten me in any way. While I may have had given in to the occasional bouts of human frailty and second-guessed my own capabilities, it did not however prevent me from picking up the pieces of ripped self-worth to scotch­ tape them up and continue to go on towards what I’ve dreamed of.

And why should they?

They won’t take me far.

The things I’ve learned as I go on with what I’m doing right now have raised my level of maturity that otherwise would have remained curled up in a dark corner. It has widened my field of vision, encompassing all the trivial concerns that have preoccupied the thoughts of many people around me. It has uncovered all the important things that need to be prioritized and even appreciated.

This exhilarating ride towards my aspiration has had its bumps, twists and turns, but no matter what happens I’m not about to bail out of this that much easily. Nobody can make me,

Why should I?

I’m going to go far.

We all are wayfarers and it would be much fun if it was shared with other same-spirited journeymen who all share common goals and dreams, undaunted with every step of the way.

If we just push through together little by little, bit by bit.

We’re going to get far.

Real Chutzpah

I wanted to write something for the new year, something positive and cheerful that would kind of jumpstart the year right for this modest blog of mine.

But that would not happen.

Two days ago I chanced upon an article on inquirer.net regarding the incident involving the DAR chief’s sons and a businessman and his children.

For a detailed account go here: http://vicissitude-decidido.blogspot.com/

This was a squabble that should have been settled like grown men.. Or at the very least like civilized people.

But it did not happen.

What got me itching to blab about this was not about who started the fight.

Hell, how would I know, I wasn’t there.

But it was because of the characters involved in this freakin’ colorful melodrama they call reality.

Yes. Reality.

It really sucks like rain on New Year’s Eve.

Or like mud on your brand new pair of Islanders.

And especially the kind that would stare at you with 3, 4 or 5 armed personal bodyguards at his back.  Waiting to be beckoned at the slightest nod of his bloated head.

Fucking power trippers.

Poor you.

But it did not in any way surprise me.

I felt nauseated I wanted to vomit.

It disgusted me just thinking about the kind of pathetic people holding power  in our ailing government.

Such fucking political satraps wallowing in their own slimy mud of self-indulgent power..

Such brazen immodesty that even uncivilized people do not practice.

Yes, savages are more cultured than these despots.

And it did not surprise me.

These people and their kind are all frolicking over the place, especially in Mindanao.

Parading like fucking royalties in their luxury SUV’s along with their convoy of gun-toting bodyguards-slash-military people-slash-nannies displayed at the back of pick-up trucks.

Such an arrogant display of cheeky self-importance.

And it never ceases to impress me.

But still I was not surprised.

What surprised me like hell was that these fucking backward bullies had the fucking guts to kick the fucking bejesus out of a 14-year old’s soft head!

Sheesh!

That kid’s bleeding ear was all over national TV!

…and also TFC.

What real men.

So damn fucking macho men.

It still reeks of testosterone here.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

While stuck in traffic the other day, I noticed a blind beggar on the other side of the road playing Christmas carols on his rickety instrument.  Most of the people passing by would pause for a while, dig deep in their pockets for some loose change and drop it in the beggar-slash-musician’s tin can.  I could not help but think about the effect of the holiday season to all of us sentimental fools.  I don’t mean to be snide abot my remarks but then thats what we all are.

Pathetic sentimental human beings.

Come to think of it.  Why do these poor beggars need to wait for eleven (and a half) freakin’ months just so they could earn a way above average income?

And its tax-free, mind you.

And during the “lean” months, their pleas would just go unnoticed, drowned out by the loud cries of the jeepney barker a few feet away from them.

But some would still spare them some change, though.

The holiday season is a different story.  Our hands willingly dive into our pockets, purses or wallets just so we could give alms to our beggar friends.

And now we consider them our friends.

But just this time.

Our generosity having an expiration date.  Good until the holiday season ends.

It not only affects the relationship between generosity and the depth of our pockets, it also extends to our personalities and the warmth of our hearts.  The season never fails to bring out our cheerful side, at least once a year.  This is the time were everybody loves everyone.  Were all of us unanimously put aside our differences and come together as one.

Yes, we truly are pathetic.

Pathetically sentimental fools.

After the season ends, hospitals would be teeming with patients – victims of vehicular accidents, firecracker explosions, stray bullet wounds, stab wounds, gang related fights, etc.

The primary reason?

Too much merry-making.

Too much of the holiday season that we could ever handle.

Too much alcohol content in the victims or culprits’ blood.

All these just so we could celebrate the holiday season.

But who cares right?  Not all of us become victims and end up in speeding ambulances on the way to the hospital.

The holiday season fever trumps the holiday victims.

And then what next?  After the “merry” season ends, we go back to our same old ways, doing our same old routine again for the next eleven (and a half) months.

A cycle we all are willing to go through just to reach it again.

We all are rats, hamsters or even gerbils running the wheel inside a cage.

Whatever.

At least we all have something to look forward to.

Good night Lola, see you in the morning…

Lola died yesterday.

But I did not mourn for her death.

I thought that she deserved to die;

She deserved to die to rest her weary soul from the cares of this world.

It was now her time.

And now the spotlight’s on her.  She’s the star of this bleak moment, thrust upon the very stage just right in time before the curtain falls.

She never wanted this much attention than what she is getting now. In fact, she has been living under a shadow for far too long.  Neglected by the people she most loved but yet her spirit far from waning in strength.

The trials she encountered in life made her stronger and better.

She was left hanging by the very man she gave her heart to and swore to love no matter what, but still, she moved on.  With seven little mouths to feed, she gathered them all up and willed them to go on. Her children were her treasures and were her source of strength and pride.  That was all she needed.

Yes, she was not the perfect mother, but she was a strong woman;

She taught her children to help each other out no matter what.

She was not the perfect wife but her heart beat for only one.

She was not a highly educated woman but she was a student of life and knew its intricacies well enough.

She sacrificed a lot for her children and was still willing to make sacrifices for them.  Her children’s successes would very much sum up her impact in their lives.

She truly loved them and cherished every moment she had with them.  Every bit of attention showered upon her, no matter how minute or in passing, she treasured them all.

She savored the times that she would witness her children gathered completely together, her face glowing with happiness;

But just silently wept in times of familial turbulence.

She has buried two daughters but still remained strong.

She has suffered for her faith but still remained faithful.

She has been abandoned but her love never faded.

She is truly a personality all by herself.

An example of life’s irony and a survivor of life’s bittersweet challenges.

And now she will be laid to rest by her five children, her 21 grandchildren and the people that she shared a piece of her life with.

She is now at peace.

She will be missed.

She will never be forgotten.

She will remain forever in our hearts.

Take a bow my dear Lola.

You did well.

R.I.P

Lola Rosa

(October 10, 1925 – December 20, 2008)

Making sense out of all these things…

I have been around, kicking dirt here and there, for almost three decades now..

but my life did not turn out as what I envisioned it to be.

Life has not been rough to me and I’m thankful for that…

But what I felt was that there was much more that I have to experience in my nonsensical existence…

I felt that I still have not tasted the bitter reality that life has been waiting to offer me…

Stuff that would jar the senses out of me, those that would supposedly make me stronger and more mature.

…and make me the man that I am supposed to become.

But still, life has been easy on me.

I was living in my own world, caring for nobody except for myself…

…and my own sense of self-importance.

But life had something prepared for me, a pleasant surprise worth looking forward to.

It would shake the little universe that I was living in…

Something that would change the life that I was used to.

She came to me in a plethora of beauty that I myself could not gaze upon without being held in awe..

A sight to behold and a moment worth reflecting upon endlessly.

…her smile of such pure sweetness that would melt away all sorrow and pain.

…her sparkling eyes that would pierce right through my soul and comfort my troubling heart.

…her face glowing a light shade of pink that could not mask her genuine happiness.

…her caressing hands that would eventually find its way into mine and tell me that she’s right beside me.

…her voice which is a melody of reassurance and a soothing tune of encouragement.

…her inner strength that would be willingly shared between the two of us.

…her sense of independence that would not be taken away from her.

…her wisdom far beyond her years.

…her humble attitude truly worth emulating.

and her love that is genuinely true and endearingly honest.

 

She shook my world.

 

She changed me.

 

Her love changed my life.

 

Life is a four-letter word…

 

…and so does love.

48 Months

What is four years like?

Four years is time long enough to teach a baby how to utter their first da-das and ma-mas…

…time long enough for them to recognize dada and mama’s soothing voices;

…time long enough for them to realize that hard objects when chewed brings comfort to their growing baby teeth;

…time long enough for them to be able to sit up without help, to stand up on their own and then take their very first baby step much to the delight of mommy and daddy.

Four years is time long enough to teach a curious young adolescent how to start be a real adolescent..

…time long enough for them to know that sprouting pimples and acnes is a normal disaster;

…time long enough for them to not be shy when their crushes pass by;

…time long enough for them to have the courage to ask someone out on a date;

…time long enough for them to experience the first heartache;

…time long enough for them to learn how to drive a car;

…time long enough for them to learn how to dance for the prom.

Four years is time long enough for a college student to finish his chosen course (but an additional two to three years wouldn’t be so bad)…

…time long enough to know that all freshies are basically idiots according to upperclassmen;

…time long enough to adjust to different classmates with different backgrounds and also to different professors with different egos;

…time long enough to learn to start the day without eating breakfast;

…time long enough to realize that drinking alcohol on an empty stomach is disaster;

…time long enough to learn that cramming for just about anything cultivates grace under pressure;

…time long enough to discover the joy of independence;

…time long enough to realize that you are taking up the wrong course for no apparent reason;

…time long enough to plan for your life after college;

…time long enough to muster the courage to face the harsh reality of toil and labor previously unheard of;

But four years can never be long enough in a relationship wherein sacrifices are made, mistakes are carelessly committed, insensitively harsh words are spewed forth, responsibilities are learned and love is ultimately nurtured…

…it is never long enough to run out of silly excuses just so you could see her;

…it is never long enough to run out of cheesy lines to try to spruce up the conversation;

…it is never long enough to just talk about anything – be it serious or not;

…it is never long enough to just be beside each other without saying one word;

…it is never long enough to learn how to give your best;

…it is never long enough to learn how not to be self-serving;

…it is never long enough to realize that whatever your decision it always affects both;

…it is never long enough to learn time and again to be honest no matter how it hurts;

…it is never long enough to learn how to be extra sensitive to the other’s feelings;

…it is never long enough to count the reasons why to consider yourself the luckiest person alive;

…it is never long enough to try and be crazy for love;

…it is never ever ever long enough to profess your love in different ways imaginable each and every day of your lives.

Time knows no bounds with love.

Love knows no bounds when felt truly.

Happy Fourth Year Anniversary My Love.

A Bitch Called Karma

Did you ever find yourself looking into the eyes of your loved one?

Their eyes showing every emotion what they felt that very moment..

That very single moment where their eyes showed the unbridled happiness that they felt; reflecting back upon your own eyes like glistening mirrors…

Your eyes laying witness to the gush of emotions overflowing and emanating from within the deep recesses of their soul…

Their faces glowing with inspiration;

Letting it be known unto you that what you witness is genuinely pure…
The sudden lightness of their body’s movement feigning fatigue and truly unmindful of the burden the world around have brought upon them…

Their happiness you could truly feel.

Their smile you could seemingly embrace.

And at that very moment you thoughtfully wonder whether how you could ever deserve their love…

How despite your shortcomings and mistakes they still would not give up on you…

That YOU who broke their heart many times over and yet managed to still be by your side…

Their pride taking a backseat in exchange to just be with you…

No matter what.

No matter how selfish you are.

They still patiently waited.

No matter how many times you failed to show them that you appreciated them…

They still fervently hoped.

No matter how many times you failed to prove that you truly cared.

They cried in silence.

And at that moment it dawned upon you that you have been treating that person unfairly for far too long;

You thought that they deserved much better.

At that moment you promise to yourself that you would change for that person;

To try to make up for all the mistakes you have done.

Fix it all up.

Be a new YOU.

Be a changed man.

But what truly unfolded upon your very eyes is the truth that you would not want to face.

The horrible truth that makes you want to cringe in agony;

Frustration coming not too far behind.

Despair settling in.

And that is because

That radiant glow in their faces;

That sparkle in their eyes;

That sweetest smile;

That lithe movement;

That very happiness unveiling upon you;

That all.

Where not because of you.

Sucks.

Big time.

….There you are!

Made this blog just to unload some friggin’ emotional stuff that need to be unloaded.

I don’t mean to rant here..

..But it could happen.

So welcome me to your universe citizens of the blogging world!

Please be easy on me..